i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
