eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
They have beer where we have blood.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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