You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We have started to decorate penises.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
