I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
