either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
