just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
