If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
