Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
