we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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