i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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