get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
