i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
