No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
