Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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