hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
