what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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