Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
