if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
