SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
COCAINE IS GR8
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
