I'm so fucking centered right now
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
