I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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