Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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