During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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