Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
