I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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