If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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