I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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