Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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