At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
