This girl is more easily done than said...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
