The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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