Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
