You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm at about main and main street
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
