All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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