Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
