In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
bring money and cleavage
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
