i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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