Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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