Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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