Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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