I wish I only lived at night.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
