What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
