There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
