So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
