i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
