Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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