Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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