Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
