I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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