I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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