I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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