i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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